


Spider-Man: Unsolved

by edibna



Series: Mysterious Heroes [1]
Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: BuzzFeed Figures it out, Buzzfeed Unsolved References, By a dumbass, Gen, Iron Man - Freeform, May is a good aunt, Peter Parker is a Little Shit, Peter Parker is terrible at keeping his identity a secret, Post Infinity War, Robbery, Tony and Peter get yelled at by Pepper, Tony is a good dad, Where everyone survived, and everything is okay, dad tony stark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-25
Updated: 2018-07-25
Packaged: 2019-06-16 07:46:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15432327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/edibna/pseuds/edibna
Summary: Peter was deep in Spider-Man conspiracy theories when he saw it.BuzzFeed Unsolved had done an episode on his identity.At first, Peter was excited. Who wouldn’t be? But then Ryan does too good of a job of figuring out his secret identity, and Peter’s got to do some damage control.





	Spider-Man: Unsolved

**Author's Note:**

> I cannot believe I have done this. 
> 
> But here I am. 
> 
> Enjoy, everyone. You can all thank Mckellaraislinn on Tumblr for feeding me this idea. I sort of ran with it. This one is dedicated you you!

Peter was wrapped in a blanket, late at night. Technically he was supposed to go to bed after patrol, but Peter was wide awake for some reason, and he was spending his extra time browsing YouTube.

Somehow, a conspiracy video about Spider-Man was in his recommended feed, and that sent Peter down a spiral that brought him into the early hours of the morning. Most of the videos were hilariously wrong. Some said Spider-Man was a robot built by Tony Stark to have the Avengers look like they had extra members. Another said that Spider-Man was really evil and trying to turn the general public against the police. 

They were all hilariously incorrect, but they were still interesting to watch either way. It was cool to see what the world thought of his secret identity, and it was good to know it was still safe. 

After a few hours of watching videos, one caught Peter’s eyes that literally made him drop his laptop. It was a BuzzFeed Unsolved video, one of the most popular True Crime and Supernatural mystery shows. They had done a special just a day ago, and it was on Spider-Man. 

Peter had never clicked on a video so fast. To have a special dedicated to his own persona? It was a dream. Peter knew that they would be hilariously off, but he didn’t care either way. He just wanted to watch it. 

Peter watched Ryan Bergara’s typical intro with excitement coursing through him. He wished he could pop some popcorn without waking May up, but he knew he would be in trouble for being up so late. So he stayed in his bed, watching the video. 

Ryan first went through all of the background of Spider-man. He spoke of how Spider-man at first was in a home-made suit, and he was given an upgrade by Tony Stark, though that had never been confirmed. Ryan talked of how Spider-Man had been in Washington D.C. and was in space when Thanos came. Shane piped in every now and then for commentary, and Peter was surprised at how thoroughly everything was researched. This was definitely the best video he had seen so far. 

“So now that we know the background of Spider-man,” Ryan said, “Let’s get into the theories on who his secret identity is.” 

“Oh, exposing a hero?” Shane said, “That’s a first on this show.” 

“Well, of course it’s all going to be speculation, because there’s no way to tell for sure who this guy is, but we can probably narrow it down to one of these people.” 

“Hit me, Ryan.” Shane said. 

“Okay, so theory number one, Spider-man is really Tony Stark’s son.” Ryan said. 

“Wait, wait, wait. Since when does Tony Stark have a kid?” Shane said, his voice disbelieving. Peter had admit, that theory was new. 

“Well, it’s never been announced that Tony Stark has a kid.” Ryan said. “But then again, why would he announce it? It’s no secret he’s got a lot of enemies, so he could have kept his son a secret from the world to … protect him, you know?” 

“Seems a little far fetched, but then again, I wouldn’t put it past him.” 

“So, basically, the theory is that Tony’s son would obviously be as smart as his father, so he would want to moonlight as a superhero, but not be so close to home that his dad would figure it out, which would be why he would be in Queens. And that would also explain the change in costume, because inevitably, Tony would find out and want to protect his kid.” 

“But why would he stay in Queens?” 

Ryan shrugged. “No idea. The theory isn’t perfect. If his kid was just as smart as Tony, he may have made his new suit himself, but if that’s the case, Tony still wouldn’t know, which … let’s be real, Tony Stark has to have eyes  _ everywhere.”  _

“Yeah, this one seems unlikely… But If it is true, then, uh, sorry to Tony Stark for revealing your kid’s secret identity.” 

Ryan wheezed. “Yeah, we may have just grounded that kid for life.” 

“So, what else you got, Ryan?” Shane said. 

“Okay, theory number two, and you’re really going to like this one, Shane.” Ryan said, a smile on his face. 

“Please don’t tell me aliens.” 

“Aliens.” Ryan said, laughing. 

“God, Ryan! I knew you were going to go there. I know the attack on New York validated aliens for you and everything, but not every single mystery these days can be aliens.” 

“Hey, aliens are a real thing and we all know it!” 

“That doesn’t mean Spider-man is one!” 

“But, hear me out. We know most of the identities of all of the Avengers, even down to their middle names. Spider-man is one of the only people we don’t know the identity of. Why? Because he’s an alien.” 

“You’re clinging onto threads, Ryan.” 

“Maybe I am, but you have to admit, people would be a little hesitant if the Avengers had an alien.” 

“Isn’t Thor an alien?” 

“But Thor’s good looking! And as sad as it is, people trust him because of that. What if Spider-Man looks like an eel or something? People aren’t going to trust him in the same way.” 

Shane still didn’t look like he believed it, but he said, “Society  _ is _ disgusting.” 

“And piggy-backing off of that, Spider-man could be Loki himself.” 

“What?” Shane said, laughing. “Why would Spider-man be Loki? He doesn’t even have horns!” 

“It’s been said that Loki doesn’t  _ actually  _ have horns. And the news footage of that day is sketchy at best, because no one could get a clear shot of him. Also, Loki could have switched sides.” 

“But if no one knows what Loki looks like, why would he wear a mask?” 

“Maybe he’s ugly.” 

“I refuse to believe that. He is the brother of Thor, after all.” 

“He did go crazy and kill some people.” 

“Are you forgetting that Spider-Man has yet to ever kill a person?” 

“Good point.” Ryan said, “Which is why, I went a little out of order today, and saved the best theory for last.” 

“If you say ghosts, I am walking out of this studio.” 

“No, no, I’m being serious right now!” Ryan said, laughing. “This theory has, by far, the most evidence that supports it.” 

“Uh huh, we’ll see about that. Lay it on me, Ryan.” 

Ryan turned a page in his notes, and Peter eagerly sat up. He couldn’t wait for this theory. The last two were good, better than most of the other videos he had watched, but not accurate. He didn’t think the last one was going to be either, but he was still ready to hear it. 

“So, the last and final theory is, Spider-Man is a high school student at Midtown High School. Obviously I can’t reveal his name since he’s a minor.” 

All of Peter’s amusement at the situation shattered. 

_ What? _

“A high school student?” Shane said. “Why would he be a high school student?” 

“Well, think about it. It would be why Spider-Man would keep his identity secret. If he is a minor, then they can’t be running around Queens as a superhero. The Accords forbid it.” 

“So, why this … kid? What would be his reasoning for being Spider-man?” 

“See,” Ryan said, “Here’s where it gets interesting. We all know Tony Stark knows Spider-man. He’s the one rumored to have given him his suit. There is one kid from Midtown high that’s on the employee list at Stark Industries as a high school intern.” 

“Are there any other high school interns from other schools?” 

“That’s the thing, this kid is the only one on the list entirely.” 

“Ooh, maybe we have caught ourselves a spider?” Shane said. 

“It gets even better.” Ryan said, smiling, even though Peter felt like he had been hit in the head. “This guy is also on the Midtown high school decathlon team, which, get this, was in Washington D.C. the day of the Washington Monument attack.” 

“ _ What?”  _ Shane said, laughing. “This is too perfect. I think we have our guy … or kid, right here.” 

“The only thing is, that kid, who I do know the name of, did not die in the attack done by Thanos, but Spider-man went missing, so it’s assumed that Spider-Man was killed, and was then … you know, brought back like everyone else.”

“Maybe Tony Stark is covering it up or something.!” Shane said. “You know, Ryan, this is the first time I have ever agreed with you on a case like this.” 

“I mean, obviously this is all speculation, and it’s entirely possible Spider-man is just some guy on the streets, but you have to admit, this last theory is … pretty solid.” 

“I do admit that.” Shane said, leaning back into his chair. Peter paused the video, his hands shaking as he did so. 

That was … too close to him. Those guys knew his name. When Peter scrolled down to look at the comments, he saw that most people were looking up Midtown high school, and trying to figure out his name. 

Finally, someone had. 

Peter closed his laptop. He needed to tell someone. He needed to get advice before someone asked him about it at school. 

He could tell May, but May would freak out. 

He could tell Ned, but Ned was probably asleep, and probably would just tell him not to worry about his secret identity. 

That only left… Mr. Stark. 

“He’s gonna kill me.” Peter said, out loud, as the realization of his own imminent death hit him. “Oh no, he’s gonna kill me!” 

Before he could chicken out, Peter grabbed his phone and called Mr. Stark. He then realized it was four in the morning and was probably not a good time to call his mentor. When Mr. Stark answered, however, he was wide awake. 

“Kid, should I be concerned that you’re calling me at four in the morning?” 

“Maybe?” Peter said. “I’m sorry, I just kind of have an emergency…” 

“Are you okay?” 

“Yes!” Peter said. “It’s just uh…. I think the world is about to figure out my secret identity!” 

_ “What?”  _ Mr. Stark yelled, and Peter cringed and held the phone away from his ear. Even from where he was holding his phone, he could hear the older man yell, “ _ How the ever loving fuck did that happen?”  _

“It was an accident! BuzzFeed did a special on Spider-Man!” 

“And you decided to tell them your identity?” 

“No! No! I would never! I wasn’t even in it. Look, I can send you a link, just watch it and you’ll see!” Peter said, and he scrambled to get the link sent to Mr. Stark. “Did you get it?” 

“Yeah, yeah I got it.” Tony said, and there was a long pause where Peter heard the video playing. “Really, guys? Aliens?” 

“Hey it’s better than the son one.” Peter said. 

“No, that one was pretty good. I would go for it, if I had a kid.” Mr. Stark said, “Instead I’m stuck with you. How did you even find this video?” 

“I was watching Spider-Man conspiracy theories.” Peter muttered. 

“Why?” 

“Have you never watched Iron Man conspiracies on YouTube?” Peter asked. “They’re so fun!” 

“No, kid, that thought has literally never crossed my mind.” 

“Well, you should sometime. It’s fun.” 

“We’ll make it a playdate.” Tony said. “Wow, they basically just revealed your name. At least they didn’t outright say it, or I would have actually sued them.” 

“The comments are the real problem. They have it narrowed down, and some have me.” 

“How the hell would they have it narrowed down?” 

“Well, our yearbooks are online.” 

“Seriously?” Mr. Stark said, sighing. “God, kid, you’re lucky I basically knew you weren’t going to be able to keep your identity secret for long.” 

“What? I didn’t do this!” 

“I know, I know, but I had a plan anyways. Don’t worry, Pete. I have it covered.” 

“Covered?” Peter said, “But don’t you need me to do something?” 

“Nope, just play along.” 

“What does that mean?” 

“Bye, kid.” 

“Wait, Mr. Stark!” but the line was dead. Peter sighed and took the phone away from his ear. At least Mr. Stark hadn’t been  _ mad,  _ per se, but he definitely wasn’t happy. Peter hoped whatever his mentor had planned was good, because he did not want his identity revealed. 

Peter’s phone buzzed with a text from Mr. Stark, which read,  _ My place, 3 tomorrow afternoon. We’ll watch Iron Man conspiracies. Have some picked out, kid.  _

Another one came in.  _ Don’t worry about your identity. You’ll see later. _

Peter knew he had to trust Mr. Stark, and he knew that his mentor would come through, but how? Peter had no idea how they were going to manage to keep his identity a secret. Then again, it wasn’t for him to think about. 

Just as Peter was thinking of laying down, the door to his room opened and May was standing in his doorway, looking pissed. Peter dropped his phone and put his hands up as if she were about to cart him off to jail. 

“I can explain, Aunt May!” 

“No,” May said. “No explanations. Go to bed, Peter. For Christ’s sake, I am not giving you coffee in the morning if you’re tired.” 

“I was just-” 

“No! Sleep!” 

“I am!” 

“Good.” May said, “Don’t wake me up again.” 

“You’re cranky when you’re tired.” 

May gave him one last glare before heading back to her room. She called a “Love you!” out to Peter. 

“Love you, too!” Peter called back, before he laid down on his own bed. Somehow, he felt sleep overtake him. Maybe Tony would get it all figured out. Maybe he really had nothing to worry about. 

That thought was comforting enough for Peter to get to sleep. 

-

Peter woke up the next morning and dreaded going to school. He dreaded it so bad, that even May noticed when he was eating breakfast. 

“Peter, what’s going on? You look like you would rather die than go to school.” May said. 

“Can we fake my death?” Peter asked. 

May gave him an unamused look. “Does this have anything to do with you being up at four in the morning? Are you tired?” 

“I mean, I’m tired, but that’s not the problem.” 

“Then, what is the problem?” 

“It’s, uh… sort of a Spider-Man thing.” 

“Oh no, do  _ not  _ tell me you got shot or something!” 

“No! I didn’t! No bodily harm happened to me last night, I promise.” 

“Okay, then why do you look like I’m about to rip your head off after you tell me what’s going on?” 

“Well… you may not rip my head off, but you’re not gonna be happy.” 

May’s phone buzzed, and she paused the conversation to check whatever message she had gotten. Peter figured it had to be from work, because he knew May’s job has been understaffed and she had been working extra to help cover. However, that was not what the text said. 

“ _ BezzFeed figured out your secret identity?”  _ May yelled, looking up at him. 

“What? How did you know?” 

“Tony texted me!” 

“Oh man, I forgot he had your number…” Peter said. 

“Of course he has my number!” May said, “It’s for if something happens to you, like you’re injured, or shot, or, I don’t know,  _ an entire news organization figures out your secret identity!”  _

“They didn’t reveal my name! Only the internet is trying to figure it out!” 

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” 

“Yeah?” 

“Well, it doesn’t!” 

“May, I told Mr. Stark! He’s gonna handle it!” 

“How is gonna do that?” May asked. 

“I don’t know! He didn’t tell me anything! You ask him!” 

May sighed, and texted Tony back. She did not look happy about it and Peter was really glad he didn’t tell her all of this at four in the morning when he had found it all out. Just a moment later, she got another text, probably from Mr. Stark, and the anger melted off of her face. 

“Did he tell you his plan?” Peter asked. 

“Yeah he did… and it’s actually a good one.” 

“Wait, what is he gonna do?” Peter asked. 

“Nope, not telling you.” May said. “Tony and I have a deal.” 

May began to walk into the kitchen to clean up after breakfast, and Peter got up to follow her. 

“What? Can’t you go back to not liking him so I can know what’s going on?” 

“Nope.” May said, smiling at him. “You’ll see later.” 

“This is the worst day ever.” 

“Love you, kid.” May said. 

“Also, Mr. Stark wants me to go over to his place tonight. Let me guess, it’s for whatever plan he has.” 

“Nope, should be done by then, but you do have my permission to go over there.” May put the dishes in the sink, before walking over to kiss Peter on the forehead. “Have a good day at school, kid.” She said as a clear dismissal.

“Yeah, a  _ good _ day.” Peter said, heading for the door.

“It’ll be funny later!” May called, just has he left the apartment. 

Peter spent the rest of his day looking over his shoulder. No one seemed to talk to him, or look at him differently, but that still didn’t stop him from feeling incredibly on edge as the day went on. By the end of the school day, Peter was about to jump out of his skin, which was only made worse when Michelle walked up behind him and tapped him on the shoulder. 

Peter jumped against his locker, and Michelle gave him an entirely unimpressed look. 

“Michelle, uh, hey. What’s… What’s up?” Peter said.

“You’re weird, Parker.” Michelle said. “Anyway, do you watch Buzzfeed Unsolved?” 

Oh fuck. 

“Uh, no?” 

Michelle looked like she didn’t believe him. 

_ Oh, fuck.  _

“You seem like the kind of guy who would.” Michelle said. “Anyways, they did this… really  _ interesting  _ special on Spider-Man that I totally think you should watch.” 

“I’m … I’m not really into Spider-Man.” 

“I thought he was your friend?” Michelle said. 

“He was … but he’s a jerk now.” Peter said, but that sounded like a lie even to his own ears. 

“Uh huh.” 

“Look, uh, Michelle, MJ… dude, I have to go now.” Peter said, rushing out of the school. 

“Peter,” Michelle called, “Wait!” 

Peter was outside in mere moments but he was grabbed by someone, and there was the feeling of cheap plastic on his back. 

“Give me your money, kid.” A voice said.

“Oh shit.” Michelle said, skidding to a stop. 

“You,” Whoever was holding Peter said to Michelle, “You say out of this.” 

Peter wanted to tell her that his was most definitely a plastic gun, and besides, Peter stopped robbers all the time, but that was as Spider-Man, not Peter Parker. 

But just as Peter realized Michelle was not going to leave, the robber was off of him and webbed to a wall. Peter’s jaw dropped as he stared at the web that was most definitely not shot by him. Was someone stealing his image? But he glanced at Michelle, and he saw her, and everyone else, staring at something on the ground. 

Peter turned and was staring at … himself? Or Spider-Man, who had obviously just webbed the guy to a wall. 

“Didn’t anybody ever tell you to not steal candy from a baby?” Spider-Man said. Peter felt like he was dreaming. That voice was definitely his, but also ever so slightly different, in a hardly noticeable way. 

“Hi kids.” Spider-Man told all of them. “Hi Peter. Sorry I was a jerk to you the other day.” 

Peter’s jaw dropped. This had to be Mr. Stark messing with him. This had to be his mentor’s plan. If it wasn’t, he was literally going to lose his mind. 

“Well, gotta get this guy to the police.” Spider-Man said to everyone. 

“No need, kid.” An all too familiar voice said. Peter saw Iron Man touch down to the ground. “I’ll take him. You get the day off.” 

“Cool!” Spider-Man said, “Thanks, dad!” 

Peter wanted to die. He wanted to fall off of a cliff and die. Hearing his own voice call Tony fucking Stark dad was too much. He was going to kill Mr. Stark later for this. 

“No problem, son. See you at the Compound.” Iron Man said, and he grabbed the robber and flew away. 

“See you kids later!” SPider-man said, and he was gone. 

“Spider-Man is Tony Stark’s kid?” Michelle said. “But that doesn’t make any sense!” 

“Oh yeah, you didn’t know that?” Peter said, grabbing his mind like pudding that had been spilt on the floor. “He’s half alien.” 

“What?” Michelle asked, looking at him completely confused. 

“That’s why he hides his face. He told me one day. So technically, BuzzFeed was right about two things.” 

“I thought you didn’t watch BuzzFeed.” Michelle said. 

“I dabble.” Peter said, shrugging. He began to walk down the stairs, trying to figure out how much he was going to yell at Mr. Stark for this. 

“Wait, Penis!” Flash said. Peter turned, surprised Flash was even there. “Does that mean Tony Stark fucked an alien?” 

Peter shrugged. He was happy with his somewhat revenge on Mr. Stark and he jogged away from school, happy to take a subway to Mr. Stark’s penthouse. He could not wait to tell his mentor what he had said. 

-

“You said  _ what?”  _ Mr. Stark said, dropping his cup of coffee. 

“Hey, you told them I was your son!” 

“And you said you were a half alien!” Mr. Stark said. “I can’t believe you!” 

“You have to admit, it’s pretty funny.” 

Mr. Stark shook his head. “Why do I deal with you, kid?” 

Peter hopped up on the counter. “Because I’m your son, apparently.” 

“Get the hell off the counter, kid. What are you, an animal?” 

“I’m half alien.” 

“I hate you.” Mr. Stark said, shaking his head. 

“So, was that really a robbery?” Peter asked. 

“Nah, I hired an Avenger to do it.” 

“I knew that was a toy gun!” Peter said. “Wait, which one was it?” 

“Clint Barton, also known as Hawkeye.” 

“Who’s that?” 

Mr. Stark laughed. “I’m telling him you said that.” 

The microwave beeped, and Mr. Stark grabbed the popcorn out of it. They both walked into the living room where two boxes of pizza were sitting out. A Roomba began to clean up the coffee spilled on the floor. 

“Thanks for the pizza though, Mr. Stark.” Peter said, sitting on the couch.

“I’m beginning to regret it, since you told a bunch of snot nosed teens I have an alien child.”

“Doesn’t Vision count?” 

“God, I am so tired of you, kid.”  

“You invited me over.” 

“Can we just watch these conspiracy theories please? Preferably before I lose my mind.”

“Yeah yeah….  _ Dad.”  _

“Fuck off, Peter.” Mr. Stark said. Peter began to search for a good video to start with, but Mr. Stark’s phone rang. His mentor looked at the caller ID before he widened his eyes. “Oh shit.” he said. 

“What, who is it?” Peter asked, sitting up. 

“It’s my lovely fiancee…. Pepper, who I forgot to tell what I was doing today.” 

Peter’s jaw dropped, and Mr. Stark gave him a worried look as he answered the phone. 

“ _ An alien, Tony?”  _ Peter could hear Pepper yell through the phone. “And you told people you have a son? Do you know what this is doing to your reputation right now?”

“See, I may have forgotten to mention to you that I was gonna do something. The alien thing was the kid’s fault.” 

“Put me on speaker!” Pepper yelled. Peter froze in his place. “I am going to kill both of you!” Pepper yelled, her voice now echoing through the penthouse. “Do you realize we actually have to go through with this now? Did you even get May’s approval, Tony? And Peter, how dare you say my fiance has a son with an alien?” 

“It was all Buzzfeed’s fault?” Peter said, his voice small.

Pepper groaned and hung up the phone, and Mr. Stark and Peter looked at each other wide wide eyes. 

“Does she hate me now?” Peter asked. 

“I think she’ll hate both of us for a good week, kid.” 

“That’s fair.” Peter said. 

Pepper was pissed at them for two weeks, and May wound up being the one to calm her down. Once she was calm though, it was the funniest thing to her. Now, whenever Peter and Mr. Stark hung out, she teased them about it all the time, as did May. It was both horrible and great at the same time. 

It was also needless to say, the next BuzzFeed Unsolved video was on Iron Man, and it was a long one. 

Peter and Mr. Stark had a whole night dedicated to watching and laughing about it. 

**Author's Note:**

> Another thanks goes to Bee-Boy-Apollo for reading this. And thanks again to Aislinn for giving me this idea! I hope I did it justice!
> 
> If you would like to give me more ideas, or just want to yell at me, my tumblr is [here!](https://edibna.tumblr.com/) I do take asks and requests, because I have no life. (Mostly Iron Dad, though)


End file.
